Sinking

i spot a scribble upon the horizon, piercing
blues. A scribble that grows to a
black speck – a void. One as
big as a sand grain grazing my toes
whilst i stand. Stand as i was never taught
to sit; i was never taught – to float.
 
Although i melt beneath the orb, i keep my form,
watching the squiggle draw near. A cruise boat erupting
with hearty laughter and some funny fiddle tunes and
small children. Fat toddlers peering through low railings –
but they’ll be tall enough soon.
i see soft blues drench their agog eyes and
entice them with pretty lights – stolen. i see
them captured by its strong billows, hugs, and its
taunting depths rich with love and
joy and harmony – it whispers.
One step towards the festivity and my toes are
swallowed, and i’m back again, in the
depths, stretching out towards what feels like
up. i try to open my eyes to the light;
the salt stings them. i try to hear a voice;
my ears are deadened. i try to call, call anyone;
but i fear losing the air trapped at my lips and
then i’d be truly alone.
So instead, i succumb to that sensation of descent
that brushes my skin and yanks my stomach and drags my hair.
 
So i’m back on the sands that scratch me to
watch the laughter fade away. There’s a chill
on my cheek at its passing and i hear it
becoming a scribble again. So, i make my
own festivity, slicing a lone coconut in two;
putting it to my lips and sipping. Tasting –
nothing. And tossing the empty shell out to the sea
to drown.

~ posted on Instagram - 10th October 2020